When You Can't Win as a White Republican, Become a Latino Democrat

That's the strategy of one (ex?) Republican hopeful for the House of Representatives. Republican Scott Fistler, who ran in 2012 as a write-in candidate and, since he was a write-in candidate and all, lost. He has since changed his name and party in hopes of winning this time around. He also lost last year in a race for a position on the Phoenix City Council.

His new name? Cesar Chavez. Yes. Like that Cesar Chavez. Yes, the Civil Rights leader one. No, I'm not kidding.

Six months ago Mr. Fistler petitioned a judge to allow him to change his name. Mr. Chavez has also decided to run as a Democrat in Arizona's 7th district, one which boasts a fairly large Hispanic population.

But Chavez isn't just ripping off the real Cesar Chavez - his website features pictures of people wearing shirts displaying the name Chavez.

When You Can't Win as a White Republican, Become a Latino Democrat

When You Can't Win as a White Republican, Become a Latino Democrat

These people, however, are not of supporters of Mr Chavez, but taken from Venezuelan news reports about Hugo Chavez.

So, let's follow this. Say you're a tea party Republican type who couldn't make it onto the ballot in the first place. You fail to win as a write-in candidate (and you didn't even rate a mention on Wikipedia's entry on the election). You then fail at getting onto the city council in Phoenix.

Clearly the problem is all the Hispanic people out there not voting for you. As we learned from 2008 and 2012, people only vote for people who are the same race as them. That's why Obama got such high support among black voters, who never voted before 2008 ever. Of course. It's clearly why Edward Lopez Pastor won his congressional seat as well. The key is right there: the skin and the name.

So you're Scott Fistler. You saw in 2012 how Mitt Romney, likeable non-robot, managed not to woo Hispanic voters by altering his skin. So that option's out. Thanks, Obama. All you can do is the name. And what's an Hispanic name you've heard around before? Chavez sounds familiar - Fox News loved to talk about that guy before he died. And a first name. Something that sounds distinguished, might appeal to your target demographic. Somewhere in the back of your mind comes a name: Cesar. You look him up and he was big on unions, which is great. You're hoping liberals will pick up on that and think you're for them too.

And of course nobody could possibly figure out the plan. You have an Hispanic name, have a D beside your name, everything's good, right? Hispanic people will just vote for you, since name. Democrats will just vote for you, because D. That's, like, how it works, isn't it?

It takes a special kind of racist thinking to think you can just spray some self-tanner or change your name and the people you're imitating will be too dumb to tell the difference. Keep an eye on Arizona, everybody. It's going to get weirder, I'm sure.

Image Credit: Arizona Capitol Times

Image Credit: ChavezCongress.blogspot.com