Welcome to the first installment (in what I hope will be a semi-regular series) of Le Placard de LaComtesse, where I find questionable garments and tell you whether or not I would wear it and why.

To kick off this new initiative, I thought it fitting that we start with a vendor synonymous with “questionable garments”: Urban Outfitters.

We start with the COPE Ruffled Floral Gaucho Romper ($79). Le Placard de LaComtesse

It is no accident that we begin with a romper. Last year, my friends and I all got together for a long weekend vacation in conjunction with our dear friend's wedding. One friend informed us that she would be wearing a floral romper and a blazer to the event. Upon hearing this, my best friend arched his eyebrow and said “So you’re wearing a onesie… like LaComtesse’s nine-month-old son? Cute.” That pretty much sums up my feelings on rompers—above the age of, like, potty training, they should be avoided at all costs. No. I would not wear this. (Though, for what it’s worth, my romper-loving pal actually looked really pretty chic.)

Next up, Kimchi Blue Knit Floral Skater Dress ($39).

Le Placard de LaComtesse

They say a lady never reveals her age, but to quote Anna of Downton Abbey, I’m not a lady and I don’t pretend to be—I’m 30. I was born in 1982 and I came of age in the 90s. So please keep that in mind when I say that I love the shit out of this dress. Love. I want to wear it with a long pendent on a silver chain, a black cord choker, and Doc Martens. Maybe a macramé vest that is longer than the dress itself? I’m not ruling it out. Key word “want.” A friend of mine recently pointed out that people struggle with an eternal longing to dress like their teenage selves and I am no exception. But I recognize that this is a mistake. So I, grudgingly, would not wear this.

Finally, Ecote Embellished Mirror Bra Top ($44).

Le Placard de LaComtesse

At long last! Something that speaks to the denim-loving Khaleesi inside of me. I will make you a promise—unless I am piecing together a half-assed costume for a Renaissance Faire, where I will be in character as a sexy Gypsy who has time traveled from the 70s to live amongst the Elizabethans, I will not wear this top. I suggest you do the same.

If you have suggestions for another installment, or question whether I (or you) should wear a particular item, post them in the comments.